i came back for seconds

double post! chikapow
hm i thought this blog was going to be a regular thing
but i gave up on it like a Zyrtec.
i want to be able to stick to something?
hm
i kind of enjoy the idea of someone reading this
then again, it scares me.

I've been listening to the killers today. god i forgot how awesome they were.
they're lyrics are so good. so tripped out. a lot like the strokes lyrics. except the strokes are doing lines of cocaine every 10 or so minutes, which leave their lyrics kind of self explanatory.

"Racey days, Help me through the hopeless haze, But my oh my!
Tragic eyes, I can't even recognize myself behind, So if the answer is no
Can I change your mind?"

ha i can so relate to that, especially with the harry situo. trippy!

mm now i have a sexual urge to make a word document full of my favourite lyrics
okbye!

such is life

life is such a tripper.

today i found out my aunty lost her baby, this being the second baby she has lost.
fucking hell. i feel so bad for her. i can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to lose a baby. You grow to unconditionally love something inside you, then BAM its gone, before you can even tell them how much you care, how much you feel for them.
it puts things into perspective.
i sit at home crying over some faggoty excuse of a male, and then something like this happens and everything seems so petty.

i've cancelled work two days in a row now. I honestly do not give two flying fucks about the money i won't be making. the break has been so minty. i went for a walk today and i just felt so free. the sun was just about to start setting, the weather was warm and crisp and i had some choons uleh.
i got stalked by some weird pedo car who kept on doing u-turns and coming back past me. damn white people. but besides that, smooth sailing.
i couldnt help bopping and dancing and aeroplaning like a total weirdo.

ofcourse, during this walk, i couldn't get le fag out of my head. ('le fag' namely the stupid excuse of a male i cant seem to stop liking.) for the convenience of my millions of readers, (lol) lets name him harry.

i saw harry on saturday, we're not speaking for some reason. he's apparently angry at me. god, his so freaking moody. one second we're friends, next he hates me. you know that stupid song by kate perry "your hot then your cold, you yes then your no, your in then your out, your up then your down". totes relates to harry. he does my head in

anyways on saturday, i saw him outside the club when two of my friend needed a smoke. i see him standing there *cringe* so i turn my back to him so i wouldnt make any eye contact with him. not that he was going to speak to me anyways. then my drunken friend, lets call her 'sally' whispers in my ear,
"shit thats him, whats his name again"
-"harry"
so what does my darling friend do? "LARRRRRY, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE"
and he just gives me the dirtiest look, "we're not fucking friends"
i almost cried. thankgod i was bloody intoxicated, otherwise i definately would have. i just asked him wehre one of our mutual friends were and left it at that.

the next day harry comes up to me on msn and tells me i made him look like a cunt outside. HA im not the one swearing at somone telling them i hate them and all that jazz. god? where are all the decent people gone. and tell me this! why the hell am i smitten by this piece of shit. i cant get him out of my head. and i REALLY want to asap. apparently its going to take time, but its already taken too long. sure, i had convinced myself that something was going to happen when we were talking, but now im giving hope. but something inside of me doesnt want to let go :(

anyway thats enough
im off to bed
peace